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Lunarbeans's avatar

This is actually amazing. I was so nervous? Excited? when the build up to the “big boy” was happening, I felt so bad for Jumbo yet I really wouldn’t want to meet him. The character is so good, the writing is good, and the sensory details drew me in so well. I know Substack is the writing app but you should write a collection of short stories if you haven’t already!

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Wow, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm so glad the tension came through and worked. I feel bad for Jumbo too but definitely agree. Glad he's not my neighbor

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EcoLoco's avatar

What a great character, I love that he bows at the end. So good

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thank you for reading! This was a fun one to write, even though I had that song stuck in my head for like two weeks. Haha

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Lori Margaret's avatar

You know my typical read is not horror as I am a lightweight. With that said , I held my breath… Will he or won’t he? Jumbo having a second thought for a minute threw me off. Then the end…hope I can sleep tonight 😂. Well done.

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thank you for reading, auntie! I’m sorry to traumatize you!

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CJ's avatar

I’ve never before felt protective of a clown and his clown thing. But here we are. I love Jumbo!

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Making people care about a clown thing might be my greatest accomplishment as a writer

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Keith Long's avatar

Man, this is so visual. Fantastic job

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thanks, Keith!

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

Fantastic! Jumbo is the perfect mix of sugar and rage. The big boy was utterly awful and probably a future danger of greater proportion than Jumbo. “The melting clown” is so evocative of his mental state as well as his makeup. Just wonderfully done!

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thank you so much, Liz! I’m glad Jumbo isn’t coming across as purely creepy. He is, obviously, haha, but I was hoping to evoke some sympathy for sure. Clowns are monsters in so many stories and I liked the idea of writing one where the clown just genuinely loves the craft. Thanks for reading and the kind words!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Yikesie! That was tense. Well done! I listen to the humpalump song a lot with the kids--thanks for ruining it! haha

Fun fact - I worked at Fisherman's Warf for several years and knew a lot of the street performers. I could smell the salty air while reading your story. :)

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

I love that! I’ve got a lot of memories from my childhood up there. The Pooh record is also from my childhood. I have that song on vinyl. I think it was the first sign of my fascination with horror because I used to listen to it all the time even though it scared me.

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C.S. Mee's avatar

jimmy, you’re a damn good writer.

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thank you, friend. Always means a lot for you to read my stuff. And the feeling is mutual

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Renee Burdick's avatar

Loved, loved, loved this one. Couldn’t wait to find out if he would actually go through with it and then sad at the end when it was over. Awesome writing cous❤️

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Aw, thanks for reading! And thank you for the nice words. Your support means the world!

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Toni Gardner's avatar

This was so much fun to read! I loved this character. The mix of childlike clown and scary warped clown was amazing. I can picture him dancing in glee admist the gore. Great descriptions. And thanks for the song, now it's stuck in my head too.

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Haha. Happy to pass that earworm along. Thanks, mama!

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brielle's avatar

wow i will never look at a pez dispenser the same

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thanks for reading, bri! That is legit the best compliment I've ever gotten on my writing. Haha

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Dev's avatar

Had the put the song 😫

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Of course. It was stuck in my head for weeks. Had to pass that joy along

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Oct 17
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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Thanks, man! Kid definitely fucked with the wrong clown

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